Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Feeling disgusted...

Since having my Bella a year ago my weight has gone up and down like a yo-yo.  I have lost all the weight plus some and put it all back on - only without a baby this time!  I can't stand it!  I was wayyyyy overweight to begin with and now it is ridiculous!  I didn't way this much 39wks pregnant with twins for pete's sake!  I hate the feel of my body, the mushiness, the folds.  I hate feeling soooo unhealthy!  It has been soooo long since I was at an average weight I don't even know what that would feel like.  I just HATE it!  Why does it have to be so hard to change when I know exactly what it is I need to do?  At this point - the last time I stepped on the scale I was 234lbs!  I qualify for gastric bypass!  How sick is that? I don't even know myself anymore!  I need to make a serious change!!!

I will step on the scale today and find out the damage and post later.  I am currently in size 18-20.  Usually 18, but that is crazy huge! I'm only 5'3".  God, please grant me the strength to fight this battle and win!  Please....

No comments:

Post a Comment